There’s a really big difference between distracting yourself with something versus genuinely relaxing.
Let’s look at it as if it’s physical.
With distraction, it’s like using one of your hands to push against something that’s trying to come at you; and using the other hand to try and grab onto something that’s somewhat difficult to grab onto.
That’s two different directions of effort.
With relaxation, there’s zero effort from either hand.
Relaxation rejuvinates. Distraction drains in two different directions.
If it feels like you’re distracting yourself, you’re so much better off going directly at the thing that’s trying to get to you (the stressor). Then you’re unifying your energy, putting effort into ONE direction, and hopefully knocking it out so that genuine (effortless) relaxation can occur.