Arrogance and Stubbornness. (from fear)

Arrogance and stubbornness look neat if we look at them through fear.

Stubbornness can be defined as a fear of change/loss.

Arrogance can be defined as a fear of vulnerability.

Change ALWAYS has fear built-in. Change is connected to loss which is connected to death.

If anyone tells you “I don’t fear change,” they’re lying to themselves (denial / lack of insight) or they’re lying to you.

And “loss” has a double meaning: not only losing something, like losing time towards death, but also loss as opposed to winning. Competition. So stubbornness can also be a fear of losing TO someone or something.

Then there’s a fear of one’s soft spots being seen; a fear of vulnerability.  A person over-produces strengths and attempts to look down on people in order to hide.

Fear is a profound motivator.  Even arrogance and stubbornness look pretty neat if we view them through the lens of fear.

Sorry for cheating on you, but…

… now I have an instagram.

I cheated on you with Talkspace.

I was mostly curious about whether I’d feel effective if the therapy were limited to only written words; not even hand written! And not even real-time typed! (It was like email.)

I was also hoping it would help us here, possibly providing some opportunities to type up something thought-out to target an exact problem and then copy and pasting it into the blog (with the client’s details removed/changed, obviously).

It was fun while it was novel.  But after a few months I got drained, stopped liking it, and discontinued.  The blog has suffered because (1) there was never a good opportunity to transfer anything here and (2) the thought of typing up more things felt sour for a while.

The next few months were aimed in an opposite direction.  I was careful not to over-work.  My to-do-list and morning routine have a very different structure now.  I even put out an ad for an assistant.

There’s a nice equilibrium now.  And I’m thrilled that thoughts are moving in the direction of the blog again.  Very happy to be back.

Somewhere in there, I started an Instagram.  (Overdose on words.  Need pictures.)

So I don’t know what kind of shape the Instagram is going to take but here’s what I’m imagining at the moment:

(1) Physical suggestions.  Putting up images of what positions you can put your body in to make yourself feel better.

(2) Mantra (repeated self-talk) suggestions.  Doing deep breathing while repeating a phrase to yourself can be weirdly powerful.  There are so many amazing mantras but they’re generally only one sentence.  Neither the blog nor the twitter feed seemed like the right place for them.  So I think the Instagram might be a perfect fit.

(3) Whenever the weight-lifting facility is completely set up, the Instagram can also be a way of communicating to you guys in between lifting sessions.  Active recovery, form and technique, maybe even some nutrition stuff.

So we’ll see what happens with the Instagram.  In the meantime, I’m happy to be back in the blog world.

As always, please let me know if you have ideas of what you’d like to see on either of them.

(I wonder if any of you expected to see a post about the word: “but”.

Here ya go:

The word “but” creates a hierarchy of importance.  Whatever is before “but” is less important than what is after “but.”   It doesn’t necessarily fully cancel out what’s before, but it jumps above it.   “I love you but empty the dishwasher.”  It’s clear the dishwasher is more important than the love in that moment.

When it’s a two person dialogue and Person A says a statement and then Person B starts with “But…” Person A is likely going to feel dismissed.  When Person B leads with “but,” it puts Person B’s point above/superior.

Most of you knew this, so I’m just dropping a couple paragraphs about it since I kind of click-baited the title.

I plan to be back here very soon!  Thrilled to be back!  Keep me posted on what you like….)